Finding Happiness In Chaos
““Once the faintest stirring of hope became possible, the dominion of the plague was ended.””
That quote is from one of my favorite books. It means so much to me that I have it tattooed on my right arm.
The book is a bout a Doctor in Algeria. Right after WW2 the bubonic plague breaks out in his hometown of Oran. The story follows him through the absurdity and horrors of a plague, as he remains calm and focuses on what’s most important: his ability as a doctor to help people.
He never allows himself to freak out. He sees the plague for what it is: an uncontrollable act of chaos. He doesn’t focus on his feelings, or his predicament. He focuses on his routine and his vocation.
This book means a lot to me because it taught me how to find happiness in chaos. It taught me how to find joy in suffering. It also demonstrated to me the importance of a personal routine, so you can keep your head when all are losing theirs.
Right now there’s a lot of absurdity happening in the world. A lot of people are giving into the chaos and allowing themselves to feel sorry for their situation, and becoming a victim.
I’m not really into that, and I think allowing yourself to become a victim is a terrible thing. Allowing yourself to become a victim means you are willingly surrendering your personal power. You are waving a white flag when adversity comes your way.
In the past we used to revere people who saw adversity and overcame it, now we revere people who see adversity and whine about it on twitter.
If you’re the latter, this article probably isn’t for you.
Since we can’t control the world outside, we need to focus on what we can control. We need to focus on ourselves and we need to try to find a way to find happiness in this chaos.
The world is in an ugly place right now. Politics are a mess, people are stuck at home and there isn’t even any hockey. Ugliness exists only to show us what beauty is. Would we know what beauty is if it wasn’t for ugliness? Would we know what light was if we didn’t have dark? I don’t think so.
The only way you can truly appreciate this dichotomy, this paradox is to not let the ugliness or the dark consume you. You need to take it for what it is and learn to appreciate the stirrings of beauty in the ugly, and the faintest light in the dark.
Ugliness and darkness are just the opposite side of the same coin as beauty and light. The coin will always flip, the light will always come back. You just have to keep your head on straight while the dark is here.
I see a lot of memes and a lot of social media statuses referring to this as a hard time. It is. It’s a historic time right now. This is something that kids will learn about in 50 years, like how we learned about the Teapot Dome scandal and the Great Depression.
Hard times will always exist, and we will always get through them. Remember how hard it was on September 12th, 2001? I do. We got through that.
It’s easy to find happiness when things are going easy.
That doesn’t teach you anything. That’s not a bad thing, but there is no lesson to be learned when you’re happy in happy times.
It’s difficult to find happiness in hard times. It teaches you a lot more about yourself. Like any challenge, there is a great, lasting reward if you overcome it.
You can use these hard times to train your mind to always find happiness in things. There are only two things you need to do. You need to become an impartial observer and you need to develop a routine. Without either of these things you will not be able to exert your control on your life, and you’ll be floating on the whims of the world.
Everything is a lesson.
“A good character is the only guarantee of everlasting, carefree happiness.”
The only guaranteed way to find joy in suffering, in hard times is to develop good character. Suffering is a chance to test your character. It’s a chance to see if you’re just virtue signalling or if you are actually living your values.
Are you able to carry yourself the way you want to carry yourself when all the cards are against you? Or do you give up and fold? If you give up and fold that doesn’t mean you’re done. It’s just the first step in learning a lesson. You need to evaluate your behaviors and your thoughts to learn how to not make the same mistake next time.
Notice your habits. Notice the things you do every day. How can it improve? What can you do to make the bad habits harder to do?
Catalog your bad habits. Write down your weaknesses. AWARENESS PRECEDES CHANGE. You cannot change something unless you have unemotionally recognized it.
Journalling is an incredibly easy and effective tool in your personal development arsenal. Record your actions and thoughts. Look for patterns over time. Once you recognize those patterns develop a plan to overwrite negative ones, so you can learn from this hard time.
Once you’ve journalled about your behavior you need to fall in love with the facts. Do not attach emotion to what you notice. Your weaknesses don’t make you a bad person, they don’t even make you a weak person. They make you a person.
Once you’ve gathered the facts the next step is to develop a plan, or a roadmap to work on that bad habits and behaviors every day. To improve something over the course of a year you only need to improve ⅓% every day. You need to take small, small steps. Small steps are sustainable, you can do this.
A common nutrition strategy is to REPLACE bad foods with good foods. For example if you’re eating out you could replace fries with broccoli. With lifestyle and mindset change we have to find the metaphorical fries to change. The small, dirty habits that add up to a large mindset problem need to be replaced by small good habits that lead to a positive mindset.
The last step is to recognize that things will not always go to plan. Recognize that you will not always stick to the plan.
Learn how to FORGIVE yourself when you mess up. Messing up doesn’t make you bad. It doesn’t mean you’re a failure. It just means that you’re a human.
None of us are perfect. Don’t pretend like you are, don’t aim for perfection. AIM FOR PROGRESS OVER PERFECTION.
Another easy journalling tip: Every evening write your goals for the following day down. The next night review how you did. Give yourself a grade. Continually monitor your improvement. You need to recognize the setbacks and CELEBRATE THE WINS
Control the Controllables
“There is only one way to happiness and that is to cease worrying about things which are beyond the power of our will.”
That anxiety you feel right now is a fear of loss of control. Most anxiety you feel is because you are worrying about things that you cannot control, and that scares you.
It makes sense.
Right now the world is a roller coaster. We don’t know if tomorrow brings a terrifying downhill plummet or an easy, smooth ride.
We have no control over either. The only thing we can control is our reaction to both.
Instead of worrying about the path of the world you need to worry about what you can control. You can control your body, your mind and your reactions.
The surefire path to controlling yourself is to establish daily routines. (Click here to access a 12 page eBook detailing how you can create your Empowering Daily Routines)
You need to create a morning routine to bring balance and clarity to your mind and body. It’s the only definite way that you’ll be able to establish control over yourself before the day begins.
The first battle of the the day is always fought in your mind. Your morning routine will allow you to always win that battle, because if you lose that battle your entire day is shot.
A night time routine will allow you to unwind and increase both the quantity and quality of your sleep. Without proper rest there is no way you’ll be able to thrive in chaotic times.
“In chaos there is opportunity”
Right now we're all being confronted by our limitations and weaknesses. Right now is a unique period in history. We can either give into our worst selves and allow our weaknesses and inadequacies control our behavior until this bullshit is over.
In The Plague the doctor sees horrors beyond comprehension. He sees his society breakdown However, he never focuses on the absurdity of the chaos.
He focuses on finding joy in suffering, he focuses on his routines and his ability to help others.
By focusing on what he can control the Doctor never breaks down, he never loses hope. By focusing on himself, his reactions and his daily routines he maintains control of himself in an uncontrollable world.
The only way to find happiness in chaos is to truly exert control over yourself. It’s not as intimidating as it sounds. Just follow the two simple steps above.
